Breaking the Myths of Assertiveness: How Women Can Own Their Power in Their Careers

In the realm of personal and professional development, assertiveness has long been misunderstood, especially for women. Assertiveness is often linked with stereotypes, misconceptions, and fears of being labeled as difficult or arrogant. But at impowr.co, we believe it’s time to break these myths wide open. Women in their careers deserve to own their power without hesitation. Assertiveness is not only a tool for success but a transformative skill that can help women set boundaries, express themselves confidently, and lead with both grace and strength.

Today we break down the common myths surrounding assertiveness and provide insights on how you can begin using this powerful tool to change your life and career. Get ready to challenge these myths and embrace assertiveness as the empowering tool it truly is.

Myth 1: Assertiveness is a Male Trait

One of the most pervasive myths is that assertiveness is inherently masculine. This stereotype has been reinforced over generations, creating a divide in how women approach leadership and communication. But here’s the truth: Assertiveness is just a trait, not one that belongs exclusively to men.

In reality, both men and women benefit from developing assertiveness. According to studies from Harvard Business Review and the Journal of Applied Psychology, the leadership skills associated with assertiveness improve equally for women and men when practiced regularly. Assertiveness is about being clear, direct, and respectful in communication, which is crucial for anyone—regardless of gender—seeking success in their career and personal life.

Tip: Reflect on Gender Biases

Take a moment to consider how gender biases have shaped your view of assertiveness. Do you find yourself holding back for fear of being perceived as "too aggressive"? Reflect on these thoughts and challenge them by writing down situations where you've seen assertive women thrive. This exercise helps shift your mindset and reminds you that assertiveness is universal, not gendered.

Myth 2: Being Assertive = Being Arrogant

The next myth we need to tackle is that assertiveness is equivalent to arrogance. Many women fear that by being assertive, they’ll be seen as rude, overbearing, or confrontational. The reality is quite the opposite. Assertiveness is confidence, not conflict.

Being assertive means standing firm in your beliefs while respecting others. It’s about clear communication, not dominance. Research from the International Journal of Conflict Management shows that assertive communication actually reduces stress, while arrogance and aggressive behaviors create conflict and stress for everyone involved. Assertiveness fosters collaboration, not division.

Tip: Assertiveness in Action

The next time you're in a meeting or conversation, practice assertiveness by expressing your thoughts clearly and directly, without apology or hesitation. Notice how the energy in the room shifts. Does it invite more collaboration? Do you feel more empowered in your stance? Keep a journal of these moments to track your growth.

Myth 3: Either You’ve Got It or You Don’t

This myth suggests that assertiveness is something you’re born with—either you have it, or you don’t. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Assertiveness is a learned skill that anyone can develop with practice. Stanford University studies and findings from the Journal of Applied Psychology show that people retain 80% of their newly developed skills, meaning that with the right techniques, you can build your assertiveness over time.

Just like learning to ride a bike or mastering a new language, assertiveness is built through consistent practice. You can start by making small, deliberate changes to how you communicate, setting clearer boundaries, and standing firm in your decisions. Over time, these actions become second nature.

Tip: Take the First Step

Start small. Choose one aspect of assertiveness—whether it’s speaking up in a meeting or setting a boundary with a colleague—and commit to practicing it over the next week. Write down how you feel before and after these interactions. Notice the shift in your confidence.

What Assertiveness Really Is: Breaking It Down

Now that we’ve dispelled the myths, it’s time to get clear on what assertiveness actually looks like. Assertiveness is about direct communication that is open, clear, and respectful. It’s not about shouting or being rude; it’s about saying what you mean and meaning what you say, without leaving room for misinterpretation. Assertive people express themselves while remaining open to the perspectives of others.

Assertiveness is also about emotional regulation. It’s the ability to express your feelings calmly and constructively, rather than reacting impulsively. When you are assertive, you take responsibility for your emotions and actions. This is especially important in professional settings where maintaining professionalism, even under stress, is critical.

Finally, assertiveness is about the ability to set boundaries. Learning to say “no” without guilt or fear is a cornerstone of assertive communication. It’s about respecting your own needs as well as others’ and ensuring that you don’t overcommit or compromise your values for fear of disappointing someone else.

Tip: Boundary-Setting Challenge

Over the next week, practice setting one clear boundary in your personal or professional life. It could be saying no to an extra project or carving out time for yourself despite external demands. Notice how this boundary-setting influences your stress levels and confidence. Write down your reflections at the end of the week.

Why Assertiveness is Essential for Women's Careers

For women building their careers, assertiveness is not just a communication tool—it’s a necessity for career advancement, leadership, and personal empowerment. When women embrace assertiveness, they’re able to articulate their vision, command respect, and create more meaningful collaborations.

At impowr.co, we believe that women have the power to redefine what it means to lead. Assertiveness allows you to own your power, express your values, and align your actions with your purpose. It helps you create an environment where your voice is heard, and your boundaries are respected. In a world where women are often encouraged to shrink or stay silent, assertiveness is your superpower.

Tip: Personal Reflection

Take some time today to reflect on moments in your career when you felt unheard or undervalued. How could assertiveness have changed the outcome? Write down a scenario where using assertive communication would have led to a better result and start implementing this approach moving forward.

Embrace Your Power

Breaking the myths of assertiveness is about more than just changing your communication style—it’s about embracing your power as a woman building her career. Assertiveness is not about domination or aggression. It’s about standing firm in your truth, communicating with confidence, and creating spaces where collaboration and respect can thrive.

As you continue your journey toward greater assertiveness, remember that every small step you take brings you closer to becoming the powerful, confident woman you were always meant to be. Assertiveness isn’t just a skill—it’s a way to own your power and create the life and career you’ve always dreamed of.

Join the Movement at impowr.co

Are you ready to embrace assertiveness and own your power? At impowr.co, we offer tools, courses, and community support to help you grow in confidence and assertiveness. Whether you're just beginning or looking to refine your skills, our resources are designed to support your journey. Sign up for our 30-Day Boldness Challenge or explore our self-guided workbooks to take the next step in your empowerment journey.